Wrapping it up

Practicum:

Lots going on down under! I drove on the left side of the road for the first time a couple weeks ago on our way to go canyoning. Scary moment... especially since I am admittedly not the best driver (sorry Adam) but after a couple go's things were making sense to me. We saw lightning strike the first of the Three Sisters monument while visiting the blue mountains in a sudden thunder store. It was incredible to watch nature explode a national monument. Ambulences followed this lightning strike, and we later found out on the news that it struck somebody and the falling rocks caused injuries as well. How incredible that we saw something so powerful! We cooked soba noodles in curry with kangaroo meat another night, got lost while running back to our campsite and were surrounded by crews of kangaroos, experienced our first man eating slug, otherwise known as a leech, and then we were off to the Cascades. Talk about leeches... Was dreaming about them attacking me in my sleep, yet they were so much apart of the culture, you just had to accept that you would undoubtedly find them on yourself. Before or after blood started dripping from your ankles? Who knows... Australia's rainforests are so incredible though. We were about to venture out on a nature walk and right before we stepped out from the covered patio, the skies opened and from them came... hail. No matter though, because that night we had an incredible meal of crocodile-pastry-things and kangaroo stew. Next morning, I woke up and went to the bathroom half awake to find a spider the size of my entire hand and hairy sitting on top of the toilet. The day before we left the Cascades, we had an incredible day rafting the Tongaroo River (spelling?) and headed out to Byron Bay the next morning. I was leader for the day on this particular travel day and for the  first day I felt completely comfortable and capable being in that role. Awesome... Maybe it helped that we went surfing and were all beaming like goobers afterwards, but who knows eh?

OAL 275:

The Group Field:
I find that so much of this trip has been about the group. The group is more important than the activities and wathcing and being a part of the group is the most enjoyable aspect of doing the activities anyway as everybody just feeds off of each others energy as a functioning entity. The group comes first the majority of the time, before myself or any other one person. In fact, as this trip comes to an end, I have recognized that I still hardly know the stories and life experiences of any one person in the group, yet I know each individual daily habits, bodily functions, physical needs, musical taste, humor, etc.. more so than close friends at home do naturally. In the group is where my home has been the past two months and so when I see a question concerning how and what is MY level of efficacy and participation it has largely been based upon judging what the group field has been... for better or for worse. Because I know its not about one person, it is about group commitment, and we are only as strong as are weakest link. "The silences and empty spaces, on the other hand, reveal the group's essential mood, the context for everything that happens. That is the group field."

Being Oneself
I have chosen my level of efficacy and participation largely based on my own internal desires, but also by watching and learning from the group. As I left for the trip I was stoked to build my skills in the outdoors, to achieve and ultimately to do well. All of those things I have realized are meaningless to me now. I could care less about 'achieving' or 'succeeding' because what is success or failure in these settings? Does it matter if you climb a 5.10 or not, if you  flip in your hardshell a million times or bomb down a huge mountain, or hike faster or slower than somebody else does? I have come to judge my level of efficacy and participation by being present, and learning moment by moment from the people in my group, and activities we do from group dinners, to dishes, to driving to surfing. Basically it doesn't matter what we are doing. What matters is that moment by moment we choose, or in this case I choose, to be engages and be present. Especially those moments when I am tired, uncomfortable and grumpy and hating the music playing in the van.
"People learn a great deal when they are opent to everything..."
"The students learn that effective action arises out of silence and a clear sense of being. In this they find a source of peace. They discover the person who is down-to-earth can do what needs doing more effective than the person who is merely busy."

Self Improvement:
The thing that has been important about these activities is that it is a way back to yourself. To being in the moment and teaching you your own methods of escape and engagement.
"Do not offer programs that teach people how to be rich, powerful, sexy - and greedy, paranoid, and manipulative..."
..."If you wish to improve yourself, try silence or some other cleansing discipline that will gradually show you your true selfless self."

OAL 362:

I believe culture and history are fascinating and entertaining aspects of places you visit, yet I don't believe culture is built on artivacts. They are only symbols and tools to illustrate a lifesyle once lived yet is not REAL anymore. culture is the aspects of daily life that is defferent from the rest of the world and specific to certain locations. To me, NZed had living culture signified by the Moari street names and designs that were used everyday. Australia is selling a world lost by putting on shows with the natives and selling artifacts etc... And its I'm biased because I like NZed more than Oz and therefore I see the cultures living out their histories differently just from that perspective. Yet, I believe NZed is gently sharing their culture and Oz is selling their history. Two different beasts.

OAL 375

Unfolding Process
Sundive took us out for a dive, and for me it was the first time I've been on a dive. I have never experienced anything like diving. it wasn't the adrenaline pumping and thrill seeking experience that we have been the majority of the activities on this trip. It was more like walking on the moon. A calm experience that was both beautiful and an adventure filled with curiosity rather than excitement. This was a situationw here natural technique or intuition does not apply. You just have to trust that what Liz and Caroline, our dive instructors, are walking us through things that are gonna keep us safe underwater and just got with it.
"Learn to trust what is happening. If there is silence, let it grow; something will emerge. If there is a storm, let it rage; it will resolve into calm."

Ripple Effect
Because this was such a new opportunity and experiece for me, I was just riding on the energy of the crew buzzing around us. The excitement from Liz was as we were in the pool learning the basics and fumbling with gear and water gadgets to the driver of the van and boat. He was an easy going man who had clearly been on and around the ocean for many years, and was stoked that we had a chance to see a mantaray they had spotted on a dive earlier that morning. I don't realize it often, but we all are greatly effected by the
Ripple Effect.
"Your behavior influences others through a ripple effect. A ripple effect works because everyone influences everyone else. Powerful people are powerful influences."

The Womb
the ocean is a world I never knew existed aside from Disney's "A Little Mermaid". Being in the water in a world not meant for me, makes me realize again that as humans we believe we know, own and have conquered the world. But we are not capable of physically conquering the unknown depths and life that the ocean encompasses. Maybe some ocean creature have conquered those sands and waters and believe that they and not us, are masters of the universe. Either way it makes me think of Creation/God/Earth/whatever that thing is that we all came from... And forces me to remember how small and insignificant the idea of "me" is. And that is a great feeling. Everything is beatiful, everything is important and everything has value.
"It is an androgynous womb which produces everything. Everything including me. i am a process consisting of polarities, which develop according to a single principle. I am a child of God. I come from the womb of creation.

~Taylor