OAL 275:
I believe that reading the Tao during activities is the most beneficial way that you can live your life everyday as the Tao is really grounding, at least for me. In terms of activities these past three weeks, this is how the Tao has helped me...
In Being Oneself, what I took from that passage was that your performance despite if you finished a route or not, flipped on a river, had a good time or a shit ass day... there are no grades being passed out for performance. During climbing at Paynes Ford, I really struggled with thinking that I was not doing a good enough job. That my performance was even embarassing me for the ammount of time that I have put into climbing. Yet, climbing is not about proving yourself as I once believed it to be. People, including myself, like to say, "good job!" or "you did so well! You killed it!". Truth be told, I don't believe you can quantify what is good or bad in climbing for one person as the process of climbing means different things for different people. Making climbing being about finishing a route or doing a good or bad job takes the fun out of the activity we are doing at the time. Just enjoying the day for what it is and taking from the activity what you will from it while being concious of working and challenging and being gentle with yourself consistently is where its at!
Equal Treatment:
"The wise leader does not try to protect people from themselves". We all have traits that we are recognized for, yet nobody is above or below another in humanity or in relationship to the world. As a mentor once told me, "even the Dalai Llama needs to take a shit at the end of the day". A graphic was to express, when it comes down to it, people are people because we can relate to having the same needs, and these needs make us human. In relationship to the activities we do, just because one person excells in certain activities, or even all activities, this does not elevate one status to be above or below another. And by dinner time, are group can recognize that no matter what they have percieved to have accomplished or not, we are all having dinner and having a good time and treating each other as equal so, "why play favorites?" ... "Silence is a great source of strenth."
Success:
To supplement the point of the passages above, here are a few quotes from success to tie these points together... "If you measure success in terms of praise or criticism, your anxiety will be endless." If we are attached to praise for an activity or accomplishment, you will be upset when there is a lack of praise, and disregard the lesson in being criticized. By trying to hold onto a certain reputation, "you lose the freedom and honesty necessary for further development."
OAL 375:
Abel Tasman for me was a time of reflection. From the day we sea kayaked in till the hike out two days later, I was having an awful experience. During my time there I went through a wide range of negative emotions from wanting to go home, feeling aloof and detached from the trip and the group, needing space and alone time, having a negative self talk and ultimately just having a 'shit as' couple of days. This all was spawned from having one day of nothing to do and what I considered to be way too much time on my hands. Yet, from that day of intense internal struggle I gained a lot of perspective and decided upon change. Therefore, I have dubbed the time in Abel Tasman "Time for Reflection", the 12th passage in the Tao...
"Teach people to let go of their superifcial mental chatter and obsessions. Teach people to pay attention to the whole body's reaction to a situation." "... When group members have time to reflect, they can see more clearly what is essential in themselves and others."
My ego at different times has gotten the better of me and during Abel Tasman my ego was in full swing. I had expectations for the trip and for myself which I believed were not being met. It wasn't until I both became aware of what these expectations were that this trip changed to be something that I have enjoyed every minute since that day. In The Paradox of Letting Go, the Tao states, "By yielding, I endure... "Let go in order to achieve"... "When I feel most destroyed, I am about to grow." A personal challenge and refeshing lesson I have come across possibly four major times in my life is to let it go and let it flow. By letting go of these unrealistic, or even fictional expectations of New Zealand actually allowed my to experience New Zealand and the people I have traveling with for the past three weeks.
Giving up Selfishness:
"Let go of your efforts to be perfect or rich or secure or admired". Again, this statement suggests some of the ego balogne I decided to let go of in order to actually experience this trip. Instead of expecting perfection and proficiency at every activity both physical and group oriented, I allowed myself to find growth in this trip that I didn't expect. "If I am at peace with myself, I will not spend my life force in conflicts" (Inner Resources).
OAL 362:
Water taxis, bolted routes, and human impact...
I have to say thtat I hated seeing the water taxi's on the beach of Abel Tasman. Seeing 5 water taxi's on the beach as horses trotted by and kayaks pushed out into the ocean polluted the view and the experience of beginning out adventure. It seemed more like a city rather than preserving something so special and beautiful. It was not a place in its natural state by any means and I believe as people we should respect the world enough to be secondary to what already lives in this environment rather than raping it for profit. It seems morally wrong to cruise up to the shoreline on a tractor with seemingly little regards to even the small creatures living in the sand that is their natural habitat, or understanding the effects of fumes and oiles that are secreating into the sand and of course the ocean from this traffic on the beach. That being said, I am grateful to be able to do the activities we have been doing. Yet, I want to make it clear that I much prefer the activities that we facilitate ourselves as a group better than the acivities conducted by an outdoor outfitter. Save for whitewater rafting with PaulE! :) The feelings I have about the tractors are more subdued when it comes to bolted routes in rock climbing but only because I love climbing. Yet, I would prefer to see everybody trad climbing as I believe it is more fun and a more organic way to climb anyway. Trad climbing leaves the rock seemingly untouched and in tact and allows both humans and other creatures to enjoy the rocks without leaving the marks that deface the rock for eternity. I believe we should strive to leave the earth untouched.
Practicum:
We had our first day as 'leaders of the day' last week. My discovery is this... Make it fun, make everything you say useful and to the point. But other then that, "you are not a bodyguard, just make sure nobody falls off the cliff"... or something along those lines. Ultimately, the group leads itself, and other than that you are in charge of daily details and activies to stimulate thoughts in the group. It is a creative process being a leader as much as any artistic job in life.
~Taylor
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