I can't believe its nearly been two weeks and it still feel like we just got here. This is a strange reality where it is as though our other lives in America never really existed and we have been doing this adventuring our whole lives, yet homesickness still pervades at certain moments through out the trip. Similarly it feels as though the 12 of us have known each other for much longer that two weeks... Knowing each other's habits, food choices, etc... yet realizing at the same time that we do not know each other's stories. The biggest time of relaxation and contempatlation for me is... Van time. Our most time consuming activity as Adam once put it. This is where the most reading and talking with people has gone on, at least for me. Yes, our cramped van has been the constant home to us these past two weeks, and I've decided that I love it. Even if we get pulled over going uphill for putting people in danger by going UNDER the speed limit. Yes, I certainly do love van time. It is like a constant slidewhow of green hills, farms and sheep. It is meditative. Everybody is doing their own thing be it knitting, reading, catching some z's while still spending quality time with each other. Van time is processing time between each activity.
Anyhow, this is for the parents... our experiences have been incredible. From caving, rafting, bouldering, climbing, to multi day river trips and a wee bit of back climbing to huts with the most insane views I have seen. Too much to describe, and hopefully some of the other 12 will post pictures and even then the only way to understand New Zealand is to experience it. We have met rad people, and I envy all of them with their simple lifestyle and their equal amount of love for humor as well as the outdoors.
We are now in Wellington and this is our second night sleeping in a beds in 10 days! I gotta say, I am very much looking forward to leaving these busy and clausterphobic streets and getting back into open land where we I can sleep side by side with the beautiful and wise Angie (tent mate) and begin the next adventure... SEA KAYAKING!!!! (No rolling necessary).
Praticum 309 & 409:
Practicum is about doing.
Practicum has served me by constantly being a reminder to do more. The way I figure - the more I do now, the more I will understand, and the more capable and responsible I will feel in ght field. With that, I have made an effor tot both observe every guide as well as do all the things I can, the best that I can to help out the group. Right now that looks like preparing dinners, doing dishes, cleaning up after ourselves during and after we leave hostels/huts, packing the van... whatever is necessary. Strangely, the more I do the more I want to do. I'm beginning to believe that the more I do, the more the group is benefitting in some small way, and that is internally satiating. To see more and more how able I am has brought me confidence within myself as well as in this team setting and that is invaluable. As I look around at our friends, I believe I am not the only one who is feeling that way. :)
OAL 362:
Tourism as a group of 12. We are no doubt tourists on this land bringing both positive things for the NZ/OZ economy while also impacting the natural environment both negatively as well as as little as possible while doing the activities we are doing.
I believe that as humans, like any animal we will leave a mark on the earth, sometimes good, recently it is often bad and everything else in between. OUr group has supported the adventure industry and I am proud that because we are making that lifestyle possible for our guides and hopefully for our friends and ourselves in the future. We are definitely supporting the oil industry with our gas guzzling van which is one aspect of this trip that I wish we could change. Perhaps instead we could load cows with gear (or even ride the cows), horses, bycycles, public transit, river travel, etc.. All more efficient sources of travel yet heaps more effort and possibly money as well to replace the van with any one of those forms of travel. In many ways I am proud of our lifestyle while traveling. We buy gear that has little to no effect on the environment besides where the materials of the gear come from, and our lives become somewhat more organic from there. Instead of styaing at hotels using sheets, plates, vaccums, paper towels, loads of toilet paper, electricty for ipods/televison/computers/stereos/etc. we just camp in the same clothes, living in the same tent, using the same bowls and living a lifestyle that has low impact on the environment. AND we are keeping the sandfly population alive. Good on us, eh?!
There are lots of things we can improve on, and these I am sure this will be a topic to be blogged on in the future.
OAL 275:
The Tao Means How
"The method is meditation, or being aware of what is happening, I begin to sense how it is happening."
In the past few months I have been highly aware of my poor memory and a sense of boredom and loneliness. This could not be due to a lack of social connections, love from family or lack of a beautiful life because I feel blessed and grateful for having all those things and more. Yet during christmas break, my attention was pulled to a boook on meditation that has been laying around my room for well over a year. I flipped through a few pages and became disenchanted with it once again... A few days later I attended a meditation group and glened a little more information. By teach yourself to focus on your breath you can detach from your emotions both good and bad. As a result you are more present and able to be hlpful and less selfish while interacting with the people areound you. More able to be present for your own life. On yet another drive in the van, I was peaking with Adam about intentionally keeping your focus on the present moment and focusing on life as a process. The process is in the present moment and not in the future and not in the past. Life is happening right now and there are no ordinary moments as Adam says. Days later I flipped throught the Tao and landed on this Tao passage and I am certain that goofy grin began to spread as the cumulation of experiences about the importance of being present in the moment were confirmed. As a leader, "to become aware of what is happening, I must pay attention with an open mind. I must set aside my personal prejudices or bias. Prejudiced people see only what fits those prejudices."
The Pond in the Valley
This passage of the Tao really speaks to me. As I understand it, the pond in the valley is a structured visualization for meditation, stillness, reflection and peace. Although I do not know the inner working of those who have led us on these trips, I though thtis passage was important for both leaders and future leaders to get grounded while working with groups of people 24/7. Traveling with a gorup of 12 leaves you with very little alone time to settle into yourself. This is neither good or bad, yet in order to center and ground one's self, we all need to have that peaveul and safe place to go. In times of stress of intense emotion, we need a moment to center ourselves yet how is that possible in a group setting? This passage invites us to to to this valley and sit at the pond to get a clear reflection of your own inner workings and needs and allows you to gain a moment of sanity which better enables you to return to the group.
"In this mirror, you can see the reflection of Tao. You can see God and you see creation. Go into the valley, be still, and watch the pond. Go as often as you wish. Your silence will grow. The pond will never run dry". All people, including leader need moments to regenerate and visit their pond.
Doing Less and Being More
The Tao entry describes the best leadership style I have personally experienced. I have seen every leader to this to different degrees but the gist of it is just to watch and be present for individuals, and the group and let the process unfold as it will. Contrary to what you would think, the wise teacher/leader knows to step back and let the group/individual struggle to find the tools in themselves to complete the tast, or overcome the challenge. Do this instead of micromanaging and rushing to everybody at their smallest need. This will inhibit people from trusting themselves and their own abilities. Stand back means jsut being there to watch people struggle which leads to them finding their own tools, developing confidence and self-efficacy and ultimately empowering themselves.
OAL 375:
Center and Ground (journaling)
The world works in a way where you somehow always find what you need, even when you wern't aware that you needed it.We had one of the most incredible days of my life a couple days ago. We began the day rafting down a gorge in the morning. Sun was up, and our guide Joe was giving me perma-grin with his humor. I remember getting into the flow of rowing and just like I remembered from my very few experiences in the past, rafting just brings out the side in me that is as mellow as it is screaming for adventure and the need to dedicate yourself to understanding the river's fickle mood. We got back to the campground and set off for a completely new adventure... backpacking up a 'steep as' trail, with the help of trees that acted as guard rails that essentially hoisted us up through peanut butter mud. Its awesome hanging out with peopela nd listening to their stories as we all struggle together up hills, forgetting after a certain period of time that you have lives outside of struggling up hill. The top turned from rainforest to tundra in seconds and then the hut appeared along with the most gorgeous view of New Zealand. Couldn't wipe that smile off our faces if anybody tried. Between nightfall and morning my mood turned and I woke up in a funk. I was attached to some negative thoughts about myself and my own capabilities. Sometimes after awesome experiences such as that hike with amazing people and leaders who so clearly are unaffected by their own garbage while they are leading, I can compare myself to them and I can be pretty cruel to myself in those moments. Anyhow, I was specifically fearing (as I always have) that I can't overcome myself enough to be a group leader or even a group participant due to my tendency towards moodiness... "A centered person is not subject to passing whims or sudden excitements"... One who is not stable can easily get carried away by the intensity of leadership and make mistakes of judgement or even become ill." As I flipped through the Tao this morning, I saw this title and breathed an inner sigh of relief. People can learn to choose to move beyond their crazy making emotions. I choose to let my emotions pass for the betterment of the group. To keep a center and keep grounded. "I know where I stand, and I know what I stand for: that is ground." Thank you Shandra and Tom for inspiring that during our hike and the multi-day trip!
Polarities, Paradoxes and Puzzles
I loved my Tao this morning. The title is Polarities, paradoxes and puzzles. It speaks about the contrasts in the world. What you see is not often what you get. Two of the days on the river, I was with a guide named Joe. He was an easy and laid back kind of guide, and just rediculously entertaining.His lack of ego implied his comfort on the river and his efficiency as a guide. He didn't need to talk about his experiences of the past or micromanage people within the boat to have a smooth ride. There was no, "show of strength to suggest insecurity" as the Tao would say.
"If you want to prosper, be generous". From the moment we got to Paule's, the group constantly remarked on what a sweet life Paule, his guides and family lived. The last night we had with Paule and the guides, we all went to the local pub to have a beer and hang out as friends. Tom was explainging how Paule spends some nights laying awake and thinking of fun and cool new things his clients can do. I remember thinking how much Paule's crew really loves and respects him, so much so that his guides have helping him out on their minds whether they are on the river or off. His clients love their lifestyle as much as they do and it is because they give so much of their time to the group and as a result they are rich. The more you give the more you get out of life.
Materialism
During times of traveling and camping, I often contemplate how much happier I would be if we let go of the many things we own and move to the woods with just enough food, shelter and clothes to get by. Not an original thought for any dirtbag as we all know. I admire the beaming faces of Shandra, Tom, Tomo, Paule and his family and believe that they set a beautiful example of having less means living more.
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